To Be or Not To Be
by vampyremiyu
Summary: A follow up to my story, "Good News, Bad News." Kureno reacts to Arisa's news. Is it really to be? Told from Kureno's point of view. Kureno/Arisa. Oneshot.


TO BE OR NOT TO BE  
A Fruits Basket Fanfic

Written by Miyu, Vampire Princess

AUTHOR'S NOTES: A follow up to my story "Good News, Bad News". This time we hear Kureno's side of the story. Does he really not want to be a father? Non-lemon. One-shot. A Standard Disclaimer follows the story.

--

I didn't believe it.

Rubbing my eyes didn't help. Closing them then opening didn't help either. My heart wouldn't stop skipping beats, my eyes rereading what Arisa had written. But staring at the note she left on the table didn't help either.

I just...didn't believe it.

It explained my wife's behavior of late. She'd been avoiding me. Hiding behind small smiles and quick kisses. She also said nothing when I knew she was ill in the bathroom at times. Tohru had also been paying more frequent visits. I wasn't complaining, as Tohru's cooking was better than either of ours, but it all seemed to fit together now.

I was going to be a father.

I should've been angry. Not angry, fuming. Mad as hell actually. We discussed family before we were married. And neither of us really thought much about having kids. We just wanted to enjoy each other and life. We were careful, meticulous, almost to a fault.

Now...this.

Our plans had been going so well. We'd finally purchased a house off of Sohma property. The land itself had been a gift from Akito on our wedding day. I had managed to save up the necessary funds to build. It's a simple home with a bedroom, kitchen, bathroom, living space and a home office. We'd just put the finishing touches on the back deck thanks to Hatsuharu and Kyo.

There wasn't any room for another.

But...that could change.

Yes, I should've been mad. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't be angry. Upset, sure. She did leave me a note rather than confronting me. We've always communicated well. Something I love about her very much. Yet, something else overcame me instead.

I was...happy. Not overjoyed. Just happy.

I was afraid of having children. Scared to death. Mostly because of the old family curse. I didn't want to have to watch another child go through what my cousins and I did. Sure, the curse was broken, but there was always a chance. Wasn't there?

And I wasn't sure if I was good enough.

My life had been far from perfect, despite my many advantages. I had failed at protecting Akito as I had promised. I had failed at being a loyal follower. I was destined to fail as a parent to. I just knew it.

But I was really only adamant because of fear. Fear of failure. Fear of repeating mistakes. I've worked hard to create my new life. I didn't want to see it disappear. I didn't want to return to being the old me.

I think...that was what I feared most. Becoming that which I became. Complacent. Delusional. Unloved. Almost uncaring.

Almost.

Then I met her. My wife.

Arisa has changed me in many ways. Good ways. I owe her much. I love her.

And now...she was carrying a child.

Our child.

That made me even happier.

So happy I was crying.

But...was it really happiness?

It took me a few moments to realize I was clutching the phone to my chest. Call her. The words echoed in my head.

RING! RING!

I almost dropped the phone I was so surprised. The number wasn't programmed into our caller ID. I let it ring two more times before answering.

"Moshi, mosh--?"

"Kureno-san!"

Tohru was on the other end of the line, huffing and puffing. Had she been running?

"What is it, Tohru-kun?"

"Arisa...she, she..." Now she sounded worried.

And I was nervous. "Please, calm down. Can you tell me what happened?"

She sobbed aloud. "We were leaving the shopping center to come home when this car came out of nowhere. We didn't see it. It didn't see us. And now she's hurt." Her sobs turned to full blown tears and it was difficult to understand what she was saying. Thankfully, Kyo had taken the phone and began explaining the situation.

"...banged up pretty good, but nothing noticeably broken," he said, obviously keeping Tohru close by. "She's seeing a doctor right now. Stable from what we can tell, but they seemed very concerned about the baby. She was having serious abdominal pain."

"Which hospital?"

After receiving the information, I was out the door and on my way into town. Fear of the unknown weighed heavily upon me. Was she all right? Was the baby okay? I was terrified of what awaited me. The thought of losing Arisa dropped my heart into my stomach.

The thought of losing the baby made me nauseous.

I wanted that child. More than anything.

Maybe I was ready to be a father.

I left the car unlocked, not even sure if the door even closed the whole way as I sprinted toward the E.R. entrance. Kyo and Tohru were waiting for me. Tohru's smile was bland, and Kyo's face was stern, hard. Arisa was okay, the immediately assured me. The doctor had finished his examination and had cleared her for check out. I was already heading down the hallway as Kyo called out the room number to me.

I peered into two rooms before finding the right one. Arisa was still in a hospital gown, sitting up in bed. She had several bandages and bruises on her face and arms, but otherwise looked fine. She flinched however as she moved to stand.

"Whoa, easy there," I said, coming to her aid.

"I'm fine, thanks." She smiled, but it hardly reached her eyes. Carefully, she sat down. Then she looked up at me, right at me, and the smile became sad. "Hi."

"Hi," I replied, sitting next to her. "You look like crap."

"I bet you say that to all the girls that get run down by a motor vehicle."

"It could have been worse," I said. "For both of you."

"Tohru's fine."

"I meant the baby."

Her smile faded. "You...read my note then?"

I nodded. "I wish you would have just told me."

"We discussed this before and--"

"And I've changed my mind," I told her.

"Really?"

"Really."

She sighed, cracking another smile. "You have to change your mind now, huh?"

"Yes. Why?" Something didn't seem right. She was laughing, but on the verge of tears. "What's wrong?"

"You're going to have to wait awhile," she said as tears began to fall.

"Arisa?"

She started to cry and I held her close. She clung to me for dear life. Nothing else needed to be said. I understood. I even started to cry with her.

"Please...don't be angry..."

"I'm not," I said. "We'll get through this. And try again later."

"You...you're serious? Try again?"

I hugged her tightly, almost crushing her to me. "We can talk about it later. What matters is that you're okay."

We did discuss it later. All night and all day. Several days a week. Several weeks a month. For at least six months. We spoke to friends and family. Had all our bases covered. We rearranged our plans. Even added a new section to the house.

And tomorrow, we'll find out if it's going to be a boy or a girl.

--OWARI--

DISCLAIMER:  
Fruits Basket is owned by Natsuki Takaya/HAKUSENSHA - TV TOKYO - NAS - Fruba Project and licensed by FUNimation Productions, Ltd (for distribution in the US and Canada). All copyrights go to them and not me. All characters are used here without permission. Please do not sue. I have no money, although I would be happy to give away my bills.


End file.
